Best Real Estate Joke Of the Day!

[wallacehobbs]

Everyone who has ever  bought a house will enjoy this.

A New  Orleans lawyer sought  an FHA loan for a client. He was  told the loan would be granted if he  could prove satisfactory title  to the parcel of property being offered  as collateral. The title to  the property dated back to 1803, which took  the Lawyer three months  to track down. After sending the information  to the FHA, he  received the following reply:

(Actual   letter): "Upon  review of your letter adjoining your client's  loan application, we note  that the request is supported by an  Abstract of Title.  While we compliment the able manner in which  you  have prepared and presented the application, we must point  out  that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral  property back to 1803.  Before final approval can be accorded, it  will be necessary to clear  the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:

(Actual  Letter): "Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156  has  been received. I note that you wish to have title extended  further  than the 194 years covered by the present application.

I  was  unaware that any educated person in this country,  particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S. , from France in  1803, the year of origin identified in our application.  For the  edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats,  the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France , which had  acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain . The land came  into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been  granted the privilege of seeking a new route to  India by the  Spanish monarch, Isabella.  

The good queen, Isabella,  being a  pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took  the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before  she  sold  her jewels to finance Columbus ' expedition.  Now the Pope, as I'm  sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world.  Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the  world called Louisiana.

God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of  time, the world as we know it AND the  FHA.  I hope you find God's  original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may  wehave our damn loan?"

He got the loan.  

[Rich_in_CT]

I've seen that before but still funny as hell.  

[wallacehobbs]

Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off.

This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.

I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny color and not fit to drink.

Would you please send a man to repair my downspout? I am an old-age pensioner and need it straight away.

Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap? My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5:30 his cock wakes me up, and it is getting too much.

When the workmen were here, they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.


Make Sure you Remember to Vote Today

[wallacehobbs]

The Devil tells a Real Estate Agent, “Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any Real Estate Agent alive. In fact, I can make you the greatest agent that ever lived.”

“Well,” says the Real Estate Agent, “what do I have to do in return?”

The Devil smiles, “Well, of course you have to give me your soul,” he says, “but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children’s children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity.”

“Wait a minute,” the Real Estate Agent says cautiously, “What’s the catch?”

[Mike Little]

Not sure how I haven't ever seen this before, but it's pretty awesome.

The person reading the form sure must have felt pretty stupid.